What I tell myself everyday.

To all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me, I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask is one thing, and this is.. I'm asking this particularily of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism - for the record it's my least favorite quality, it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen." - Conan 'O'Brien

January 18, 2011

Closure.. for now.

Its been a while since the last flurry of posts. A lot of contemplating the last few weeks and taking a short break while adding the finishing touches to the animation short.

Honestly it was getting a bit depressing writing those posts and listening to replies and comments. I got suck a little into feeling aggrieved with the situation.

My primary motivation to write was a selfish one. Initially it was an outlet for venting my frustrations as well as putting down my thoughts so that I can hope to find a answer to various questions. And that I can appease some guilt I have when some talented and hardworking graduates are having difficulty finding stable jobs while more schools are churning out graduates by the bucket load seemingly caring only about how much cash they can get from the students and government.

Initially I thought this was my way to help potential students understand what the industry is like. To examine themselves to see if they are good enough or have the initial ability to be polished or taught to be able to compete for a job.
If I was a supervisor reviewing reels of potential people to hire, I have to make an informed choice of who who be a good fit of the department and will work within the confine of the system. And everyone else essientially was " not good enough or too expensive or pain in the butt to work with, better luck next time".

I thought my responsibility as a educator was to train they to be at a level to be able to get that job. Or that 1st step in the industry. And not be the ones not selected.

And also questioning if I can continue my path into education and away from production work with a clear conscience.

It took an extremely enlightening talk by my ex-lecturer/now-boss to make me realise how arrogant it was of me to feel that way and how narrow my vision is. It is not just constrained or restrained to animation/vfx. I have become so small and less confidence at at the future of the industry in my own eyes that I could not move away from this and become angry or frustrated at the situation. Saying stuff like if you are not good or talented enough do not bother with animation. What does to all do?



Crush people's dreams and aspirations? And who am I to tell people that they cannot do it? That they cannot make it?

This post at cartoonbrew about Yoshiyuki Tomino's well meaning but pragmatic response to a aspiring animation student's dilemma came at the right time and lets me know how to write this post. And more importantly the many different and opinionated responses in the comments.

The basic human right is having the freedom to make choices. I have come to believe that there is no right or wrong choices. Just choices that affect you in many different ways. Regretting and hoping that you did not pick this path or that you wised things work out better or wishing that the government gave more benefits is a moot point. Because we do not actually have a time machine to go back and fix stuff. But if you go back and tell your past self not to do choose this path will he/her believe it and then that will royally screw up the whole space time continuum.

But what we cannot deny is hope. It is one of the most basic human feeling that drives the whole race.

Having a choice to make and making a educated choice pursing what you want/interested in is I feel the fulfillment of potential. Whether you make it or not, is secondary because you won't know unless you have tried.

At the core, it is still a idealistic mindset and I refuse to lose it despite how cynical I become. Because without this, what is there to work for? To live for?
Have a read about the lost generation in Japan. People of your age and mind and even younger. What prospects or even choices do they have?

I say sod it. Not to the industry. But to the worries. I refuse to be a slave to my worries.

Nor worry about this industry in future. Things will be how they will be. All I feel could be done is equip the students with the long road ahead and encourage them to walk down this path fully knowing the path ahead won't be smooth sailing. But rather then worry and be cynical about it, take it with a smile. There are other shit out there to worry about soon enough.